Brace yourselves, Boozers. The State of the Union is coming tonight and it won’t be pretty. In our neck of the woods, we’re bracing for the road closures and surveillance helicopters that accompany the President’s annual trip up the Hill, and Congressional staffers on both sides of the aisle are restocking the filing cabinets with clandestine bottles of booze. Senatorial flasks are being vigorously polished even as we speak. The game is on.
In times like these, we cannot legislate the Tipple. In an era of free enterprise with every loophole somehow both glorified and vilified in the same breath, who are we to tell you to what to drink? Pick your poison, and, in the tradition of Andy Cohen on Watch What Happens Live, take a little guzzlet every time the Republicans applaud a tax cut for the wealthy and the Democrats cheer for a government-funded hand-out — it all amounts to virtually the same thing, so you ought to be good and drunk before the President even has time to say “God bless America.”
Our only suggestion: drink local. Support the local businesses that support your local economy. We’ll be stocking up on booze from DC Brau, Chocolate City, Catoctin Creek, Copper Fox, Port City Brewing Company, and any number of area wineries like Corcoran Vineyards and Fabbioli Cellars — all perfectly calculated to help ease the pain of yet another budgetary battle. Drink up, Boozers — you’ll need it.