Debate Tipple: The Presidential Pivot

It’s debate time, Boozers. Drinking games abound at this time of year — because who doesn’t enjoy slamming a shot every time the President bashes millionaires or his opponent glorifies Reaganomics? A lot of people will be very, very drunk tonight.

Our own drinking game will require us to actually pay attention to the substance of the debate, which means we may not last too long. We’ll be watching the art of The Pivot, a device by which the candidate cleverly dodges answering the actual question by seamlessly switching to a new topic: for example, a candidate might be asked to explain his opposition to (or support of) universal health care and ends up pushing his concept for lowering taxes for small business owners. If it’s done well, they get away with never answering the original question. If they do it less elegantly, Jim Lehrer slaps them around verbally until they actually have to give an opinion.

To participate in our Presidential Pivot drinking game, you’ll need several shot glasses filled with a variety of liquors, and one filled with water. Each time you identify a pivot, shout “Pivot!” and drink from one of the glasses. The next time you spot another pivot, shout “Pivot!” and drink from a different glass. If the moderator catches the candidate and forces a response, shout “Fail!” and drink some water.

Yes, we think it’s likely you’ll get drunk, so don’t forget cab fare.

 

A Debt Ceiling Deal? We’ll drink to that.

We were relieved to wake up this morning to the news that a deal on the debt ceiling seems to have been agreed upon while some of us slept — but, with a vote on the way, we may all need a stiff drink to swallow what’s left of our pride.

Our Debt Ceiling Delight melds together the taste buds of the left and the right in a celebration of that elusive American quality: compromise. This drink is even better when served in a kitschy piece of Americana — ours pictures the Vulcan statue, a beloved Birmingham, Alabama symbol of American strength and virility.

Debt Ceiling Delight

3 or 4 fresh mint leaves

3 fresh lemon twists

1 large teaspoon lemon-infused simple syrup (whatever — use a packet of sugar from the House cafeteria — you’re gonna need this drink)

Good ole Kentucky bourbon (perhaps Mitch McConnell had a shot poured over his cereal this morning, to steel himself for the vote)

Chilled tea (we used an iced green tea, because those left-wing hippies love that stuff, but a nice strong Lipton suits the Tea Partiers)

Grand Marnier (you know how the Liberal Elite love anything French)

wedge of lemon and a sprig of fresh mint (borrow some from the Obamas’ kitchen garden — they like to spread the wealth)

Put the mint, lemon twists, and simple syrup or sugar in the bottom of a tall glass. Use a muddler or that plastic spoon from the back of the file cabinet to mush it together. Pour over a generous measure of bourbon, depending on how depressed you are over compromising your ideals. Top with several ice cubes and chilled tea, then float a shot of Grand Marnier over the top. Add lemon wedge and mint leaves. Toast to your success at averting a national crisis and then drink deeply before handing your first-born over to the devil.